somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
