bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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