It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
