his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
