I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
