1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
