she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
