mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Did we literally take a cab across the street
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
