Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
