then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
