brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
