Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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