The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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