Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Farmville is her only friend.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
