Apparently you make a good broom.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
