Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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