so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
