Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
