I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
