if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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