Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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