isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
