May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
