I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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