If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
