So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
