he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If its not for food we ain't going out.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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