I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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