question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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