eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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