Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
