i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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