is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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