Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
