I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
