Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
