the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
