If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wish i was in the wii world.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
