My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
