Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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