i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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