i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i barfeds in our rink
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
