god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
