Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
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