they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
