moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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