I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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