This is not my ceiling
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
