I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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