Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
