I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
